A Valentine’s Blog That Won’t Make You Throw Up

Family Bridges

A Valentine’s Blog That Won’t Make You Throw Up

Contributed by
Ashley Reed

How many of you have been a victim of Valentine’s Day disappointment? Maybe your crush didn’t leave you a cute note like you hoped they would, or maybe your partner forgot to buy you flowers. Less than two decades ago, if a high school friend got a huge bouquet of roses and jewelry for V-Day, only her and a few people in her circle would know about it. Today with social media, your newsfeed can become a blur of teddy bears, sparkly rings, flowers, and chocolate. Disappointment comes when we don’t receive something that we expect. And misery can come when we watch good things come to everyone else around us while we feel like we have been looked over. Cue the pity party violins.

So, what should we do to avoid the Valentine’s Day blues?

  1. Ask yourself, do you have any expectations for Valentine’s Day? If you are in a relationship, let your partner know if you would like something for Valentine’s Day. It may sound crazy, but there is a high chance that your partner doesn’t even know that V-Day is around the corner – or even that you are expecting something that day! Don’t drop indecipherable hints. If you want flowers, make it crystal clear to your partner that you would really love to get flowers on V-Day. Saying what you want and getting it is better than silently expecting something and feeling crushed when you don’t receive it.
  2. Maybe you have recently had a break up, a divorce, or are mourning the loss of a loved one. The commercials and hype for Valentine’s Day might make you feel queasy or angry. In that case, I would recommend staying away from your social media feed and investing in self-care or family time.
  3. Now for all of the single ladies and guys. Being single can be annoying on Valentine’s Day. Posting memes about the hype of Valentine’s Day can lead to the inevitable comment: “well someone is bitter/alone/going to die a spinster with 80 cats.” And having the spotlight of pity on you isn’t fun either – how many of you have heard “don’t worry, the right woman/man will come along eventually”, or even better, “how are you still single? You are so pretty/handsome/intelligent/witty/fill in the blank.” For this scenario I recommend the same medicine from point #2 – self-care and family time.

Valentine’s Day is commercialized and hyped up to the point that it sparks mixed emotions of fear, dread, anticipation, or high expectations for many people. But maybe, if we shifted the focus on that day from what we receive to what we give others (a listening ear, a shared meal, simple time spent together), we could make it a much happier and well-anticipated day for all parties involved.

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