Single & Complete
I’m in my 30s and I’m not married. And if you come from a Hispanic family, this is a BIG deal. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked by extended family and others “when are you planning to get married?” – as if I could actually schedule my entire life, including who I’ll marry and when, in my calendar.
I grew up in a two-parent household where my parents held a model relationship. They had been married for over 45 years before my father passed away. I strongly believe in marriage, I have witnessed how beautiful (even though difficult) it can be. What I don’t believe in, however, is the notion that marriage completesyou.
Before you stone me, allow me to explain.
I believe that we all crave relationships…human connection…love. I do believe that we all need some type of relationship in our life. But we all don’t have to find our soul mates and get married to be complete.
To say that marriage completes you, is to say that we as individuals are not operating at 100% because we’re missing a piece of us, that we are deficient or lacking of something that only another person can fulfill. I don’t buy it.
What I do believe is that a spouse compliments you and contributes to your person. Those areas in your life where you are weak or lacking, that other person is strong and abundant. They are your constant cheerleader, your rock, your one sure thing – they help you be a better person. And I’m an advocate of marriage for these very reasons and many others.
However, I’m also an advocate for being single. Perhaps it’s because my parents taught me to be independent and I took it to a whole ‘nother level – but I’m perfectly content in my single status. I am by no means lacking in my need for relationships. I have love and show love and am given love by my friends and family.
This isn’t to say that I won’t ever get married. It just means that right now, and for as long as I am single – be it a year, 5 years, 15 years or forever – I am content and satisfied with my person.
Yes, marriage is a beautiful thing. But you don’t have to be married to be happy or complete. Be confident with who you are. Don’t simply get into a relationship to fill a void or an expectation, because that will only lead to dissatisfaction.
And for the love of God, please stop asking me when I plan to get married.