Soulmates? I Think Not

Family Bridges

Soulmates? I Think Not

Contributed by
Ashley Reed

So a few weeks ago Eddie shared his Journey To The Altar. So as the second engaged person on Family Bridge’s staff, I am writing a similar post, but from a bride’s point of view.

I am going to start off my series with an unpopular opinion: I never have believed in the concept of “soulmates.” The idea that I am a broken part of a whole in need of another piece in order to be complete has always sounded ridiculous. With billions of people in the world, there are a lot of guys out there that I could be attracted to, compatible with, and share interests with. However, I am choosing to stick it out with one guy.

I don’t believe in a higher power guiding me towards a romantic partner like some kind of North Star. I believe in the simple mathematics of being attracted to someone, evaluating their personality/attitude/family, and deciding whether or not to commit to a relationship with them.

Marriage is scary. The person to whom you say “I do” will change over time. Both of you will change. However, the idea of commitment is that you will do your best to love each other unconditionally and accept each other’s changes as life goes on. That doesn’t always happen though. One person might fall through on their vows, choose to walk out, or decide that they made a naive decision by walking down the aisle. You might wake up one day and realize that you are sleeping next to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. (or Mrs.) Hyde incarnate. Marriage is not only a commitment, but it is also a gamble.

However, thousands of Americans say “I do” every year. Some gambles are just worth the risk, especially when it comes to the potential of having someone to share your life with. When it comes to my current engagement, I am under no delusion that I have found a missing piece of myself. Instead, I have just found someone who feels like home, who makes me laugh, who takes care of me when I am sick – all of that mushy stuff.

For my next few posts in the #whymarriage series, I will be writing about the process of reconciling a family with a partner that has a totally different worldview, and the many pros + cons + worries of marriage (and why I think walking down the aisle is still a good idea).

Thanks for reading!

For more tips and ideas about marriage and relationships, follow us on social media @familybridges.

  1. Hello Ashley,

    Thank you for this interesting article. The truth is that people have misunderstood the meaning of a soulmate. Soulmates are not perfect but instead, they are individuals who understand us on a deep emotional level. This means that both partners need to be vulnerable to each other so as this to happen. Most people like the idea of a soulmate but not how much work it takes to get there. This is why so many couples say “I do” but when they get married, a couple years down the line they get a divorce.

    It was a pleasure connecting with you today! Wishing you all the best!

    Zaria

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